what comes around goes around or vice versa

I am a firm believer in karma.  The gods have demonstrated that this exists many times throughout my life.  The first time I really noticed it, I was about 19.  I had joined Columbia House CD club under my name, then my initials, then my middle name, etc.  I got literally around a hundred cds for like 10 dollars or something.   Then, less than 1 year later, my car was broken into and most of them were stolen along with my purse and some other things. I realized that I had “stolen” those cds so later they were stolen from me.  This really made me think about every action that I took.  Recently I purchased a pair of sunglasses among other things from Ross’s.  It was a particularly busy day and the line was extremely long.  I paid for my purchases and on the way to the car examined my receipt as I always do.  I realized that the sunglasses were not on there.  I was in a rush and did not want to stand in that long line for a $7 pair of sunglasses. I got in my car and instantly called my good friend the Horse (she’s not really a horse, nor does she look like one.  She wished she was one as a child though).  I explained the situation and asked “what kind of karma do you think I’m facing here?”  She analyzed the situation and said, well, you’ll probably just lose them.  I can deal with that.  However, the karmic payoff was much different.  I wore the glasses for the first time and my eyeballs sweat like mad.  My makeup was smudging off from eye socket sweat.  Very unusual since I rarely sweat anyway but needless to say I never wear the glasses anymore.  Today on the way to work something else happened.  This time good.  I generally walk to work and when I first started walking I had a pedometer that I clipped onto my pants to monitor my distance, speed, etc.  After about 2 days of wearing it, It snapped off during my walk and I found it busted on the sidewalk the next day.  I was so disappointed about this.  That was several months ago.  Today, on my way to work, right in front of me on the sidewalk, I found a brand new peodometer so much nicer than the one I had before and it works perfectly.  It always comes back to you, this is why I try to always do good and think about it really hard first before I do something bad.

The devil sits across from me

I work in an office environment and have no problems with those surrounding me everyday.  I really like every one of them but I have a small issue with this one I will just refer to here as Satan.  He is a very intelligent, friendly, and talented guy but he has a fatal flaw if you ask me.  He keeps a drawer full of chocolate, gum, and candy at all times.  Sometimes, he even brings in chips and salsa, banana pudding, or brownies that his fiance made. He has been employed here longer than I have so I’m not sure how this originated but I really think it’s a ploy to make friends with everybody in the office.  We have over 100 people spread out in 2 buildings and 3 floors but eveyone has been through here.  They come from all departments to get their afternoon fix.  Everyone knows his name and where he sits!!  Now for some, this is a nice treat to be able to traipse over and grab a snickers; but for me it’s about 3 steps away and is too easy to do several times a day.  Now, to give you a more clear perspective on how nice the devil can be, I once stated “only fruit and nuts for me from now on”, so the next day he came in with a 2 pound bag of roasted peanuts.  I ate them for a week or so but when they’re sitting next to a Butterfinger they are not always the most appealing.  So you see, I fight the devil everyday and usually it’s the M&M’s that get me.

Santa Monica parents

Unlike most people that live in LA, I rarely drive.  I am fortunate enough to live 1.2 miles from where I work so I generally walk.  Lately, I have noticed a strange phenomenon.  At 8:30 in the morning, the sidewalks of Santa Monica are flooded with people jogging, walking their dogs, cleaning the sidewalks, watering the grass, and hispanic nannies pushing strollers around sometimes with multiple children sitting in them.  The past few weeks I have noticed a few less hispanic nannies and a few more men pushing strollers.  It makes me wonder whether these are stay at home dads or the people in Santa Monica have jumped on the Britney Spears bandwagon and hired men for nannies.  Either way, it’s a step in a new direction and I think it’s a good one. 

Speaking of parents in Santa Monica, my long term boyfriend is a godfather twice.  One of his god daughters lives here in Santa Monica and we were recently invited to her second birthday party in a really nice park.  She was sharing her party with another 2-year-old so needless to say the place was swarming with them.  We arrived and said hello to her parent’s and sat back to observe.  We remained at the party for less than an hour due to the fact that not one person aside from our two friends spoke to us the entire time we were there.  No one introduced themselves or even wondered who we were or why we were there.  The fact was, we didn’t have children so we didn’t belong there.  It was as if we were outcasts and couldn’t be in the “club” because we had not reproduced.  At first, I was totally insulted but then I realized that these are all stay at home moms that spend their time criticizing the other mother’s child rearing at the park.  Who wants to be in their club anyway children, or no children? 

The people who know me know that I don’t want kids.  I don’t believe it’s for everyone and I know that it’s not for me.  I have  little patience with children and I just don’t have the energy and sacrifice that it takes to be a mom.  Plus, it’s way too much money and work.  So back to the party, after being snubbed for about 30 minutes, we were ready to go, and then the birthday girl herself came over to us and wanted to hang out with us for as long as a 2-year-old can be expected to want to hang out with 12 other children with toys running around.  Then 10 minutes later we left, happily!!!

It’s SAD time

This weekend marks the end of Daylight Saving Time and the beginning of several dark, depressing months for those half a million people with Seasonal Affective Disorder.  SAD is a winter depression that can be mild or severe.  It is caused by a lack of  sunlight during the winter months.  The syptoms are sleep problems, fatique, overeating and weight gain, depression, anxiety, social problems, sexual dysfunction, and mood swings all of which can lead to a weakened immune system. 

Daylight Saving Time was put into place to give us some extra hours of daylight during the spring and summer months.  In theory it saves energy, reduces crime, and keeps children from going to school in the dark.  Here in CA they have considered staying on Daylight Saving Time all year long.  It could still happen.  However, Arizona doesn’t recognize it at all so half the year they are on Mountain time and the other half they are on Pacific time.  Hawaii is another state that doesn’t adjust their clocks and until this year Indiana was the most confusing of all.  They left it up to the individual counties so there were 10 that chose not to observe while the rest of the state did.  Wierd I know but they finally came to their senses in April.  I am not looking forward to the time change.  I prefer Daylight Saving Time to standard.  I want as much sunlight as I can possibly get.  It makes me happy when it’s sunny outside and I don’t suffer from SAD!!  

 The one extra hour of sleep we get on Sunday might make us happy for a week or so but then there’s darkness.  Darkness when we go to work and darkness when we come home.  The switch back to Standard Time along with the shorter winter days will make for very little sunlight for those working an 8-5 or 9-6 schedule.  Some people work in places that don’t have windows so they get less than 2 hours of sunshine per day.  This is very unhealthy to those susceptible to SAD.  There are a few treatments that involve sitting in front of a light box, taking anti-depressants, or psychotherapy but many people with SAD don’t realize what’s wrong with them.  So if any of your friends, family, or co-workers are suffering form the winter time blues they may have SAD and not realize it.  For more information about SAD click here and don’t forget to set your clocks back one hour this Sunday.

Experience

The best thing about living in a huge city like LA is that entertainment opportunities are endless.  No matter how much or little money you want to spend there’s always something to do.  Sometimes the possibilities are overwhelming!!  There are at least 300 restaurants within 3 miles of my house yet it is so difficult for us to make a decision on where to go  that we end up eating at the same 5 places over and over again.  We know they’re gonna be good, we know where they are and we know where to park. 

Experiencing something new can often be soured by traffic, parking, and other people.  Where I live, it can take me anywhere from 30 minutes to 2 hours to get to my destination depending on what time I need to be there.  Parking can take up to a half hour and can cost up to $15.  Before I go anywhere, I find out about the parking situation.  Once I figure out that it’s either valet or street parking because it always is (very few places have parking garages/lots and if they do be prepared to shell out some cash); it is then time to plan a route.  The question is usually not what is the quickest way to get there but rather which street would I rather sit in my car for an hour on because any way you go in gridlock traffic takes a very long time.  Anyway, my point is that despite all of these obstacles, I have been experiencing the city.  I have been getting out, trying new things, exploring LA.  There is soooo much to see and do and I am just getting started.  That’s one of the reasons I haven’t been posting much.  All this experience really makes a person tired!!

I survived

The visit is over.  I survived.  And it was painless.  Actually fun.  My mom was at my house for about 10 days and I had a really great time.  But more than anything she had a blast and she didn’t want to leave.  She had not been on a vacation in 15 years and her life isn’t so great in TN so needless to say she wanted to stay on and on.  The first day she got here, she saw a For Rent sign on a house and actually called to inquire about it.  Then, she went to the pier and discussed with a fisherman how much money she could make here doing the job she does in TN.  Everyday there was mention of moving and/or retiring here.  I took none of this seriously but did jokingly say “I really like having my own state”.  I did agree to her moving here if and only if she met a very wealthy man that lived in Beverly Hills, oh and he has to have a pool and a private plane so she could go back to TN often. 

I took her to the theater and she really liked it, she had never been to a play before.  She met many of my friends and discovered that I am a nice and likable person who surrounds myself with quality people.  She realized that I am generous, thoughtful, and giving.  Because I haven’t given a lot of my time or myself to her over the years, I think she thought that I was  mean and selfish.  She told me while she was here, “You’re a good, sweet person”  I had never heard those words from her before.  She complimented me every day on something!!  We talked  a lot.  She used to try and make me feel guilty about living so far away from my family.  Now that she has been here, I don’t think that will ever happen again.  Right before I moved, she said “I will probably never be able to visit you”, now she is planning to come back next year.  So all and all the trip was a huge success, not only because we got to know each other but because she got out of her little town and her less than content life. And before she left she said, “I have gotten used to being with you and talking to you so now I am really going to miss you much more than I did before.  We will have to talk on the phone a couple times a week”.  And the weird thing is, I will miss her too and we probably will talk more.

introducing myself to my mother

Many people do not have good relationships with their parents. I am sure that everyone feels like a stranger to their mother at some moment in their life. My relationship with my mother has been much less than perfect for most of my life now. We have rarely been close and have sometimes went months without even talking to each other. She knows few of my friends and is clueless about what to get me for birthdays if anything. When I was in college, she didn’t know my major, what classes I was taking, or even what year I was in. There were times that she didn’t know my phone number and probably never knew how to get to my house or apartment without calling ahead first for directions. This has been the case since I moved out at age 18. I have not spent more than one day (usually only a few hours) with this woman in probably 16 years and I can’t recall more than once or twice that we have slept under the same roof in as much time. Now that I have moved to CA, we talk a little more frequently and tomorrow she is coming to stay with me for 8 days. I will be working during the day for the bulk of that time so it’s not like I’m spending all of that time with her but…..8 days. Now, I’m very excited, don’t get me wrong. I love visitors in general. The inner tour guide in me loves to show people the town. There is a lot to see here in LA and I have so much planned. I don’t really know what she likes to do so I just planned a bunch of things that I like in the hopes that she will enjoy herself while she’s here. The other thing I’m excited about is maybe she’ll get to know me a little bit. It is so weird to me that this person gave me life and I am virtually a stranger to her. I am not saying that’s all her fault, I have never really had the desire to be close to her. We are just so different!!! This week, she is going to see where I work, meet a lot of my friends, go to the theater, and just see inside my life a bit. Then she can decide if she likes me or not. haha

new technology

I haven’t been writing as regularly and I have two things to blame it on.  The new fall television season and I just got a digital video recorder.  I think I was almost the only person in America without this amazing device until last weekend.  I have always been one of the first people to try out new technology until recent years when I have been on a strict budget.  I don’t have the newest cell phone, no blackberry, no palm pilot, or gps although I have always had the latest computers.  Most of my friends got Tivo or a DVR a while back but I was still using a VCR if I needed to record something.  One of my friends advised me that acquiring a DVR would in fact “ruin your life”, she claimed that I would never leave my house on the weekends and would watch every new show that comes on TV.  Well, I have to admit that I have been watching a lot of TV but I still manage to do a daily workout, maintain a healthy social life, and I get out of the house on a regular basis. So, it has not ruined my life in any way except for the fact that I think about it when I am away from home.  I get pleasure in thinking about all of the stuff I have recorded that I can watch whenever I want.  This is kind of disturbing to some of you but I have never denied my love and addiction for television.  I have even chosen it for my career.   And it’s not just TV, it’s movies also.  I watch several movies per week.  I have been a member of Netflix for 5 years now. 

Perhaps I love love TV so much because my sister and I were latchkey children that were not allowed to play outside when we were home alone.  That left watching TV and reading and I overindulged in both.  There have been periods of my life in which I watched no TV at all but that was mostly during college when I only had time for class, work, and drinking.  And then as I got older and stopped drinking daily, I got back to my old habits of watching TV regularly.  I am hoping that soon, the newness of the DVR will wear off and I can get back to my normal routine of writing a least a few times a week. 

It’s that time again

It’s almost time for local elections and may I stress that local elections are much more important than national ones.  When I was a bartender, I had a regular customer that told me that the local elections will affect my life directly and the national one would not.  My response was “You’re exactly right!!  The guy I voted for in 2000 won the election but is not the president.”, and I have voted in local elections ever since.  In case you’re not registered, you still have a couple of weeks to do so.  Here are some links to register online:

govote.org

rockthevote.org

Lindsey and Kim

Today’s post is dedicated to two friends of mine.  One who has reached the end of her journey and the other beginning a new one.

Lindsey:

Though I didn’t know her well, I met her after moving to LA and was instantly stricken by how gorgeous she was.  It was so hard to believe that she was very ill.  This person, a couple of years older than myself had been fighting a serious type of brain tumor for over eight years.  On the outside she looked healthy but on the inside she was dying.  As the months went by and I was around her a little more, she began to deteriorate.  First her hair was gone again, then paralysis on one side of her body.  The last time I saw her she didn’t even resemble the person I had met just over a year ago.  She was completely bedridden and unable to feed herself or even change positions.  Because of the positioning of her tumor, she had become paralyzed on her left side which also made it very difficult to swallow and speak but she still spoke and made us laugh.  Even though her body was no longer hers, it belonged to the cancer, her personality was unchanged.  It is hard to explain how it feels to see a person 36 years young in this type of state.  I left with an overwhelming feeling of both sadness and gratitude for my own health.  Three days later, Lindsey passed on to her next life, and although it was very sad, it was probably a relief to her loved ones that she did not have to live this way anymore.  She had lived with this disease for almost 9 years.  Longer than anyone ever has!! She went through many types of experimental treatments and beat the odds.  Now, her brain and other organs are at UCLA medical center being studied so that maybe someone else can live longer or maybe can even be cured. The memorial service was just the other day and I have to say that it was the most beautiful funeral that I have ever attended.  No sad music, no sad sermon.  Just family members saying wonderful things about her and making us laugh with fond memories.  I have to say that I left happy and feeling fortunate that I got the opportunity to meet this person, I only wish I could have known her better.

Kim:

I met Kim on a movie a few years back and instantly I knew I wanted to be her friend.  She is just so great with people, it seems we hit it off immediatley.  I had never worked on a feature before and she kind of let me know what to expect.  I didn’t get to work right next to her often but I knew that even when she was super busy, overworked, stressed out, and had twenty things going on at once, I could radio her and she would say “Hi Lovey” like her only priority for the day was to help me.  After the movie was over we kept in touch and then she called me to be her assistant on another movie in which we worked side by side everyday, all day long.  We had a great time.  I learned so much from her and about her.  She is one of the most giving and thoughtful people I know and although I knew that she was a Gemini and changed her mind at least twice a day I didn’t realize that she was also bipolar.  It wasn’t until I moved away that I realized some of the pain that she had experienced in her life. She has ups and downs and is medicated daily but she is all about making people aware of the importance of mental health and hoping that maybe there will be a cure for what she hassomeday. She has always felt alone and feared that she would be forever but  a few months back, she became involved with a good friend that she has known for eight years.  It just hit them both that they belong together.  She is truly happy for the first time in her life. They were married this past weekend and even though Kim is still bipolar and will still probably have some bad times ahead, she will not be alone.  She has found someone to help her through when life gets difficult and for this I am very happy because she deserves it.